The Ghost of Future Fatness

Like Ebenezer Scrooge in A Christmas Carol, I have just been given a glimpse of what my life could be like if I don't finally get my eating habits under control.

Last weekend I landed in the Emergency Room with chest pains.  It was not my first trip to the rodeo.  I've had "episodes" a few times in the past  year, but usually by the time I get to see my regular doctor, the pain has passed.  Each time I half heartedly promise  Dr. G  (who is clearly frustrated with me)  to lose weight and follow up with the cardiologist.  I  make resolutions like it's New Years Eve and swear to myself  that THIS TIME I will get my act together, lose weight and lower my risk factors for heart attack and stroke.

However, this past weekend the worried, adorable faces of my husband & two young sons  drove me to the ER after experiencing 36 hours of burning, stabbing pain right on top of my heart. This time I was truly scared that I'd waited too long and played Russian Roulette with my health one too many times.

While I was waiting for my bed to be ready, I stared my future right in the face.  I was sitting on the gurney looking directly at a woman who was hovering around 400 pounds (a weight which I am now able to recognize, thanks to all of those "Extreme Weight Loss" shows).

My heart broke for her. Although she wore an oxygen mask and had a green oxygen tank sitting next to her,  she was still audibly gasping for breath.  I surreptitiously glanced up as five big, strapping men struggled to move her from a wheelchair to the bed. 

 

A few hours later, as I was waiting my turn for the X-Ray tech, I could hear someone struggling to get into a position where they could take the obligatory ER chest X-rays.  They had to roll her from the stretcher, onto the X-ray table and it was not easy for anyone involved. When the patient came out of the room, I realized it was the same woman I'd watched being hoisted into bed.  I sat face to face with her, in our respective gurneys, each in our own quiet Hell.

I tried hard not to stare, because I didn't want her to think I was judging her. I truly wasn't. I silently prayed that she gets whatever physical and emotional healing she needs. But I wanted to make sure that her image was burned permanently into my brain. Because there but for the Grace of God, go I.

I've been thinking about her all week. Wondering how she's feeling. Wondering how she got to that place in her life. And mostly, when I've been tempted to make an unwise decision (skip my workout? Eat cookies for dinner?) I've been remembering the pained look on her face, the way the  tubes from the oxygen mask tangled around her, the rolls in the skin of her arms and legs, the classic hallmarks of diabetes and heart disease written all over her body. She was my  "Ghost of Christmas Future",  warning me of the dangers of  food addiction instead of monetary greed.   

We could actually re-enact all of A Christmas Carol  with any number of vices substituting for monetary greed. Whether our addiction is food, alcohol, drugs, gambling or too much Facebooking,  it affects our lives in the past, present and future. If we don't change our ways, we all travel down roads that end in sadness.

Whoever the lady in the blue muu muu  was, I'm grateful that we crossed paths. Her image (and the memory of my own miserable 8 hours in the ER) are keeping me on the straight and narrow. I finally saw the cardiologist this week. I dragged myself out of bed at 5:00 am to exercise. I made better choices most of the time.

 

As Tiny Tim would say..."God Bless Us, Every One!"

Opposite Day: Follow Seinfeld's lead for healthy lifestyle changes

The other day I suddenly realized that I was living in a Seinfeld episode. In "The Opposite", a waitress assumes that George will be ordering his usual lunch - tuna on toast with a cup of coffee. George's reply seems to come from a moment of spontaneous inspiration: "I always have tuna on toast. Nothing's ever worked out for me with tuna on toast. I want the complete opposite of tuna on toast. Chicken salad, on rye, untoasted ... and a cup of tea." By the end of the episode, his character has undergone an amazing metamorphosis, simply by doing the complete opposite of every instinct he has.

There are a lot of days that I feel like George. In any given week, 80% of what I eat is the same as the week before. And I could definitely say "Nothing's ever worked out for me with a bagel and cream cheese for breakfast." If I'm always eating the same things, exercising the same way and making the same excuses  - how is my body supposed to change?

My "Opposite Day" began as I pulled into the parking lot of  my local warehouse club and accidentally drove to a section that I normally never use. That's right, I'm one of those crazy people who tend to park in approximately the same place. I always enter through the same doors and shop the aisles in the same order. It's borderline OCD.

Yet on this day, a quiet voice in the back of my head whispered "I wonder what it would feel like if I parked on the other side today?" It was an odd sensation, yet it somehow felt good to shake things up.  As I entered the store, I laughed to myself and thought, "Since I parked in the wrong spot,  I might as well go through the store in reverse order too."  As I made my way down the aisles, I realized that I actually felt more awake and aware. Typically I sleepwalk through the aisles, mindlessly grabbing the same items that I always buy, but on this "Opposite Day" I found myself consciously deciding to skip the snack aisles and try some new produce.

Later that same day I realized that I was starving and running late for my next appointment. Normally, this would have meant that I'd hit the drive thru for something that I could eat quickly and neatly in my car on the way to my next stop. But since I'd now remembered the infamous Seinfeld episode, I'd mentally declared today "Opposite Day." It took a bit of arguing with myself, but I eventually drove to a fresh salad place that I rarely go to. My excuses are usually that the parking lot is a pain to navigate, the menu is unfamiliar and I don't have enough time. But on Opposite Day,  as I sat and ate my salad, I was so happy and proud of myself. The food was delicious, I made it to my next appointment on time and I felt like a whole new world was opening up before me. The best part was that I felt happy instead of guilty and sluggish. 

That afternoon I had 20 minutes to spare before picking my kids up from school. Normally I would  have sat in the school parking lot reading a magazine. But since today was rolling on as an Opposite Day success story, I parked my car in an unfamiliar neighborhood and went for an impromptu walk instead. Instead of feeling stiff and lethargic, I felt energized.

For 40 years I've eaten the same things and exercised (or not) in the same way, made the same excuses and had the same lack of results. The Seinfeld line "If every instinct you have is wrong, then the opposite would have to be right" truly hits home for me.  My Opposite Day started off quite by accident but, like George, by the end of the day I felt like a new person. As I find myself tempted by old, bad habits I try to remind myself of how good it felt to try something new. I hope you find inspiration in it too!